Nobody knows how i feel... nobody can understand why i felt like this.. not even my mum, my sister... not even my close sister lixuan or bettina..

i've lose interest in activities that i used to enjoy, like going to RC event, talking to ppl, even watching tv..

i feel sad, helpless, hopeless, eating chocolate cant make me better.. i sometimes cry in the middle of the night..

i lost my 2kg in 1 week.. believe it??

often i sit down by the window.. should i just jump down??

在14日生日的人。。。

Found this on magazine.. Pretty True..
Mildred and QX read this!!

这一类型的男女朋友，酷爱自由。他不愿意受你的约束，由你控制。如果你的占有欲很高，那你不太适合这一类型的伴侣交往。和你外出的时候，他会经常和其他人谈笑，因为他非常喜欢成为众人的焦点。选择这一类型的伴侣交往，你必须尊重他的自由，并且信任他。

Happy birthday to myself.. i'm 18.. but it was my worst birthday..
if you tell me friends are important.. haha they are not at all.. friends cum classmates for 5 years?? haha not even 1 remembered my birthday..
my fellow RC instructors remembered.. i know them for only 1 yr.. perhaps ppl should not measure friendship with time.. its the thought that counts.. if they remember means remember obvious..
since its obvious those that forgotten, i dun really need your wishes..
oh that wishing is still small case.. i went to hospital yesterday.. GOSH.. why.. dun bother to ask if i'm okie or what.. no need.. my birthday with no cake, no wish, no presents nothing.. haha my worst birthday!! happy birthday to myself.. and XUXUN!!

special special special thanks to:
RCY challenge Alpha-ians cos they sang birthday song to me..
and zhengnong who spent the whole afternoon walking from town to town to town..

thanks for the wishes, i'm blessed!!
thank you: QingXiang Sir, WenFang, ZhengNong, CinLee, Pauline, YingQi, AnnieBek, Mildred, Shwuyueh, Mummy, GuoZhong, Nicky, ChyeKeong, YingSheng sir, Alvin Sir, Wan Qi, Xuan Liang, Dominic, Alicson, Jun Jie, Jesper, Melvin Sir, BaoXin, JiaFeng, HongYi Sir, RenJie Sir, Nora, JunChao..

here i'm making a wish though i got no cake.. i hope to celebrate my birthday with someone next year.. not another celebrating alone :)

i'm looking at someone's blog..

the day i actually know you.. when BB and RC having camp together.. 1 year got 365 days why did both cca have camp on the same day.. it was not planned purposely but i think this is FATE.. you weren't in my eyes at all.. unlike him.. i knew him from sec2.. you were just a stranger to me.. even at night when i went to music terrace to find WY+WB.. i talked to only him & him.. i recalled i totally ignored you..

the next time i talked to you that would be the day we sat down in macdonald having meeting ba.. you sat opposite me.. but i bet i still ignored you.. you didn't catch any of my attention.. i crap around with JC+EK.. taking photos.. sending songs.. playing around..

i dunno when did we really talk.. but is this important.. not at all.. probably after meetings when the 4 of us walk to the same berth of interchange.. 3 of us took 179 and you took 180.. we talk cock until the bus came..

not really sure how we started sms-ing each other.. i told you almost everything every problem i faced in my unit.. you helped me solved them.. we went dinner together at JE.. had veggie meal.. drank bubble tea.. you drank ice blanded grape.. funny you actually from the boon lay side came over to the changi side.. came all the way to say bye bye.. ahahah..

we had the same thing in mind wanted to "help" EK get number from L.. then you already caught my attention.. i notice you ate 2 double cheeze in a day.. haha.. WB thought we were already together.. haha not yet.. we were just close..

in order to help EK, u&i and e&l went out.. went to town.. eat, walk, shop, talk.. it was that day.. i remember what you told me.. i can feel the butterflies in your stomach.. the trember in your speech.. the way you grab my hands.. the eager in me to agree..

what a funny introduction to this story.. everything is like so not normal.. since it is not normal.. the ending wont be the prince and the princess live happily ever after.. haha.. it ended with a FULLSTOP.. rmb our first song keep holding on.. haha it never worked..

whenever we quarrel we will go cycling at ECP.. friday i went there again.. alone.. the mood was so different.. it was at night.. me standing thru the journey listening to music.. taking the usual bus.. walking the same old over head bridge.. took the same route to ECP.. all alone.. since i'm alone.. i reached there at around 7.45 rent a single bike.. and start cycling.. went to find my cadets.. i guess i didn't speak more than 10 sentence.. it was a different me.. i sat there alone.. while the rest played games.. i forced myself to smile when we took a group photo.. then i cycle back alone to return the bike.. walked home alone.. all alone..

RCY CHALLENGE! maths teacher :P

the 89 ppl.. hey we are going to teach you maths..

read from the left k.. [14+15=29] then [4+8=12] easy??

haha it's our birthday date lah.. all LINKED ;)