Monday, January 28, 2008

MILDRED and BETTINA i miss you loads!!!






last 2 weeks when i took bus 242..
i will see this siblings sitting together..
then when we reached interchange..
the sister will help her brother place the sling on his shoulder, and help him take his books, handphone..
so sweet right..

if i have a choice, i would rather be the youngest...
where my elder sister or elder brother will be the one looking after me..
not me looking after them..
i'm not complaining but being looked after will definitely feel better than looking after others..

however i'm satisfied being looked after by my 2 JieJies - bettina&mildred...
i love being loved by them (:






even though the blame's on you, i'll take that blame from you, and you can put that blame on me

Sunday, January 27, 2008

well... ALL my choices made in 2007 are WRONG!!!
i hope my choices made in 2008 will be right!!!

JAE2008 (:
1 - HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT WITH PSYCHOLOGY
(SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)
2 -RESORT FACILITIES SERVICES AND MANAGEMENT
(SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)
3 - MARINE ENGINEERING
(SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)
4 - PROPERTY DEVELOPMENT & FACILITIES MANAGEMENT
(SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)
5 - CUSTOMER RELATIONSHIP AND SERVICE MANAGEMENT
(REPUBLIC POLYTECHNIC)
6 - REAL ESTATE BUSINESS
(NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)
7 - ENGINEERING INFORMATICS
(NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)
8 - INTEGRATED EVENTS MANAGEMENT
(REPUBLIC POLYTECHNIC)
9 - LOGISTICS MANAGEMENT
(NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)
10 - ELECTRICAL & ELECTRONIC ENGINEERING
(SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC)
11 - BUSINESS & SOCIAL ENTERPRISE
(NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)
12 - HEALTH SCIENCES (NURSING)
(NGEE ANN POLYTECHNIC)


i'll always get what i put in for first choice..
JWSS was my first choice..
Red Cross was my first choice..
MI was my first choice..
HUMAN RESOURCE MANAGEMENT WITH PSYCHOLOGY is my first choice!!
Cross my fingers and hope i'll get it!!! god bless me k!! haha..


感谢老母慈悲,祖师宏慈,师尊师母的大恩大德。
以及各位点传师,各位坛主的关心与付出……
第12期的模范班终于结班了......
一年出的模范班课程, 说长不长,说短也不短…

虽然有时候学会想放弃… 但做是不能半途而废, 要有始有终!! 最后终于还是毕业了…
模范班毕业不是结束,但是一个新的开始…
因为后学现在要负起责任…
后学的后学会把后学作为标杆…
后学要替师分肩,替母分忧…

有很多很多事等着身为小小后学的我去完成…
只要还有一个人还没上岸, 还有人留连在苦海…
我的任务就还没完成!!!
加油!! 加油!!

2008(戊子年) 目标
首下承诺…

始终如一,遇考不退

Saturday, January 26, 2008

today i went out with my family (:
my sister she came and wanted to hold my hands..
i shake it off and shout at her "hey, dun hold my hands!! i dun like!! i'm independent!!"
then my sister also mentioned to me, why didn't i hold on to the grab pole?
then i realised that i'm standing in a moving train just like that..
haha super neh.. haha..

i'm still feeling moody cos of that dream i had that day.. gosh!!

i'm having gastric pain for 6 hours!! but no1 cares.. haha..

it's not the right time to get in love.. i'm used to being alone.. for 3 years.. i'm living, doing everything alone.. going school, shopping. eating, sleeping, studying, watching movies.. all alone.. i can survive alone.. "S M L XL" but i still prefer the way i am.. the way i've been for the past 3 years.. alone..

Friday, January 25, 2008

- i had a weird dream -

remember i mention that i actually had a dream that nicky sir died??
in my dream i cried like hell.. really crying like running tap..
then i woke up with tears all over my face..
its really my worst dream ever!!

again i had a bad dream on thursday night..
i woke up on friday with tears all over my face..
i dream that i had a qurrel with this person..
if i remembered clearly, it was a terrible qurrel..
but i dun recalling knowing this person who appeared in my dream..
until now i still cant forget that person's expression..
his is like his going to take a knife and kill me anytime..
what about me? i took my phone and nearly throw it on the floor..
hey thats not the end..

my dream just suddenly changed scene..
i landed up on my way home from dunno where..
it was very dark, and quiet, i guess it's very late at night..
i was walking home alone.. i was on the phone, then hang up..
continue walking walking..
then there was this china guy who walked passed me and smiled at me..
i felt uneasy and start walking with bigger steps..
i turned back this man was following me..
so i started running, running, running..
until finally i reached my void deck..
i saw this bangaladash drinking alcohol as i stared at hime as i walked back..
he grabbed holded of my leg..
i tried kicking and get rid of that monster hand..
then i started crying in fear..
cried worst then that when i dream of nicky sir died..

i dun like having nightmares.. cos dreams do come true!!!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

JIAYOU JIAYOU MILDRED!!

i'm feeling 幸福 is in the air (:
muhaha..
my partner need not be handsome.. he just needs to be part of me..
是你的就是你的,不是你的就不是你的。。
i need not go find my love.. if it belongs to me it will come to me automatically..
PROVEN!!
我学会了,不要再失去了才懂得珍惜。。








"S M L XL"
what does this represents?? tell you when its the right time.. haha..

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

yesterday when i walk home i passed by bus 242 queue.. i saw this person who looks super familiar.. like I've seen him somewhere.. i stare as i walked pass him.. but he just look back at me strangely..
SO... i also dunno... haha.. weird leh.. i have this feeling that i really really know him.. yet i just dun seems to remember.. at that point of time when i saw him yesterday i have to urge to shout his name and go talk talk with him but.. i cant recall his name.. why??



read this..
"Attendance will be taken on that day, which will be used as a factor for your PROMOTIONS and DEPLOYMENTS to SCHOOLS or HQ ACTIVITIES / PROJECTS. If you do not attend, even with a valid reason, you will not be considered for deployment to schools, especially."

i have only one word for all this..
HAIZzz

Sunday, January 13, 2008

just random..

i love going to fotang..
dun stop me..
try to understand okie..
its hard on me now you know??
its not wrong to keep going fotang..
its not wrong to keep liaoyuan-ing in daochang..
i'm old enough to know whats right and whats good for me..

as i grow old, i will have to take more responsibilities..
more time, more chance to liao yuan..
lesser time for my friends, families..
even lesser time for myself..
lesser time to sleep, rest, do things i like..

i dun want to live life with regrets when i die..
i dun want to die with thing unfinished..
i dun want to come back into this 苦海 again..
i dun want to keep going through this 生老病死..
i dun want to suffer anymore..
i dun want..

i need your support..
support me okie??

i love myself :)

Saturday, January 12, 2008

i find that something is not right with me this 2 weeks.. dunno how to explain.. something is missing.. something is not right.. but i dunno what's wrong..

you might think mary had disappear into thin air not really.. she's still here alive..

when i'm at home, i felt that everyone is acting in front of me.. like that know something but refuses to tell me.. its just a sense..

i feel ease when i go to fotang.. peace at mind..

i even had weird dreams at night.. about me shouting, crying while talking on the phone.. i cant remember the content but i will wake up really in tears.. sometimes when i went for my morning bathe, i find scars, blue-blacks on my hands.. where did all this come from??

ytd i packed my room, found a this "letter".. a drafted letter to my parents.. content is about me deciding to commit sucide.. and trying to say sorry for letting them down and stuffs like that.. problem is when did i wrote this letter?? it's my hand writing yar.. but how come i got no impression about it?? i also dunno.. if you know then better tell me okie.. maybe god knows.. did i really decide to commit sucide?? why will i hurt myself??

today i went back to jwss for open house.. every thing runs smoothly.. until towards the end when quite a few cadets in bb uniform said hi to me but i dun recognise them.. maybe they are trying to be friendly or i what.. but i really dunno them, so i just smiled and walked away.. things are getting weird.. i also have received sms from ppl i dunno.. dunno from where did they get my number or whatever.. am i going crazy.. having all the illusons that "ppl" are talking to me??

i'm sure something happen to me within this 3 weeks when i stopped blogging.. what happened?? why did i stopped blogging.. from where can i know what happen?? what can explain about this letter, stranger's sms, and ppl saying hello to me when i really dunno them?? if knowing the truth makes me suffer then i dun want to know the truth.. i rather not know what happen..


i love myself :)

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

I WOKE UP WITH A BAD HEADACHE!!
IT FELT AS PAINFUL AS WHEN I FALL DOWN WHEN I WAS A KID!!
HOW I WISH I CAN BE LIKE A KID..
WITH NO TROUBLES, NO RESPONSIBILITIES, NO BLAMES, NO LOVE, NO HATES...

NO-THING!